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If you are someone seriously considering leaving a cult, or if you have just done so, leaving and dealing with your detachment from the cult can be difficult and challenging. There is a good chance that you've lived for much of your life as a cult member, depending on the cult for not only daily life activities, but also, for your happiness. So after being victimized for so long, how would you handle your withdrawal? What would you do, where would you go? How do you deal with the pain and the suffering that has been brought upon you as a victim of a cult?
First, if you feel the continual need to rely on religion for your satisfaction, consider another denomination. Look into going to a different church. You may even ask yourself if you need Jesus at all. Consider another religion altogether. There are many other religions out there. If you believe so strongly in your religion, why have you neglected others? While you might not be ready to give up religion entirely, and you still wish to believe in God, ask yourself if living in or being part of a cult is the best way to follow him.
As we have said before, while we might wish for you to leave the Christian religion altogether, we would rather you go to a legitimate church, and not a cult. There are plenty of other Christian denominations out there, and there are other religions and ideologies that you can ascribe to. If you do go to another church, make sure you are not making the same mistakes you made when entering your previous cult, and make sure you do not join another cult! Ask questions, look for cultic features, and if you find yourself within another cultic environment, run!
One of the most important tools cult members and potential cult members have in protecting themselves is education. Please educate yourselves. The more educated you are, the more mentally empowered you are, and through this empowerment, you will be able to make better and informed decisions when you are face to face with a cultic situation. In order to educate yourself, put down the Bible, and read books about real science. Learn about cults and what effects they can have on you. Real knowledge, and not the superstitious garbage that you were being fed in the cult, will help you get your life back to normal.
And while you're educating yourself, you might want to seriously consider agnosticism, the ideology that states God might actually not exist at all. If you can make this leap and endure, you will have freed yourself from all of the immoralities and anti-reasoning that are currently binding you down. The most reasonable ideology would be atheism, the stance that there actually is no God. When you are able to reject the notion of a god, you will no longer be a slave to the most influential superstition of all. And if you can do this, and have survived being a good person without feeling the need to believe in a higher power, consider Humanism, the ideology that rejects God but calls upon all persons to be loving and moral towards each other. While these are all good suggestions, the best decision for you to make now is to leave the cult you are currently in. For help with leaving the cult, please visit here.
In either case, whether you're leaving or have already left, you should have a plan. If you live in the cult's church or place of establishment, see if you can stay at a family member's house or arrange something with a friend. Make sure you have enough money so that you can make the transition as smoothly as possible.
Now, the first step in successfully dealing with the pain of being a cult victim, is to actually admit that you've been victimized. All too often, ex-cult members try to ignore their past and pretend like it never happen, or they try to find justification for it, such as by telling themselves that it was their fault. Or, they simply don't want to admit it. It can be embarrassing, after all. But, the path to recovery and helping others is to admit to yourself that you were in fact a victim.
But while it is true that you need to admit that you were a victim, it is also important to not completely dwell on the past either. It was after all, in the past, and you must focus on your new life. Be happy! You are free. It is now time to live your life normally, and to leave your past behind, but, to acknowledge at the same time of what had happened to you, and to use that experience to help you make better decisions in this new life you are now going to live. If you are finding it difficult to deal with the thought of once being in the cult, try to de-associate yourself from them in any way possible. Throw away literature that advertises the cult and hide anything that might remind you of them.
And it is also important to realize that it is not completely your fault. Yes, sometimes, members allow their superstitions to take control of them, and before they know it, they are being used by cult leaders for their own advantage. But, we all have weaknesses, and it isn't right for anyone to scam us or harm us by taking advantage of those weaknesses, and when that does happen, we become victims. If you continue to blame only yourself, then you are in a sense, continuing to program yourself, and in a way, only continuing the cult's influence on you. They continue to harm you, and you shouldn't let them keep harming you. This was, after all, the reason why you left.
Remember, time will heal. And while time is healing you, there are several things you can do to help yourself deal with the withdrawal. We are not ones to put much trust in the psychology field, but it might be helpful to some persons, so you might want to look into psychological therapy. Sit with a psychologist and talk about your experiences. We wouldn't recommend you seeking medicine for this, but you need to do what is necessary.
Something related that can help is to find some sort of support group for victims of cults, or just get involved in community programs that will help you make yourself feel good again. A great way to do something like this is to join social network websites such as Facebook or Twitter. You will meet several persons who might be able to help you. In any case, you have an entire world that can see your thoughts. Several victims of the 4th Watch do that very thing.
A good way to help keep you out of the cult and for you to stay within reason, is to try associating yourself with persons who do not engage in cultic behavior. Stay close to friends, persons who are of a sound nature and who are not superstitious. Persons like these will be able to remind you about normalcy, and how superstitions can ruin your life. They can remind you as to why you left your cult in the first place and why you shouldn't go back. If you start to stray, these persons can help talk some sense back into you. And if you're smart, you will listen.
But there are also other forms of therapy. A useful therapeutic tool can be writing down your thoughts. This helps to put everything in perspective for you and gives you a chance to express yourself that perhaps you didn't feel that you had the chance to before. Get a journal, and write them down. Create a file in your computer. We don't want you to be dwelling on the past, as we have already mentioned, but sometimes the past just won't go away, and facing it is an appropriate solution. Also, writing down your thoughts helps you to remember what lessons you might have learned.
Along with writing your thoughts, write a poem. What better way to express one's self than through poetry? In fact, the head producer of this project found poetry very useful, and it became a great therapeutic tool. The official Anti-4th Watch poem is the outcome of that poetry.
Or, make a website, such as a blog, and leave your feelings there. In fact, this is a good way to express your thoughts to other persons, including 4th Watchers or whoever belongs to the cult that you were a part of. Or, something that might really help is for you to actually go out there and make your negative experience a positive one by educating others about it. Take action in your community to not only educate others about cults, but to help prevent them from victimizing others.
In fact, you can accomplish all of these things by making a master website, such as this one, created by victims of the 4th Watch, that started with a poem, and turned into a master portal for education on the highly unusual and potentially dangerous beliefs, practices, and members of the PMCC 4th Watch cult. If you can't make a website on your own, join us! In fact, this website is a great place to leave your thoughts and comments as a victim of a cult.
If you wish to deal with the cult directly, you can communicate with the cult members, perhaps even emailing the pastor or cult leader about what they did to you and what you think of them. But, just make sure that whatever you do, it is done in a non-violent way. Also, you need to be careful, as cults have been known to harm, and even kill persons for their betrayal and defiance. If you feel you are not qualified to handle the cult, consider police action, or consider fighting the cult in more non-direct ways, such as what we previously mentioned, like joining the community to help stop cults in general.
Another thing to consider, is to sue the cult if you can. Do this if they really did harm to you, and only if you believe you can win, or that taking them to court is worth it, regardless of the outcome. But please note, if you are going to do this, be serious about it, and don't make yourself look like a fool or make yourself go through all the trouble and not be passionate about it in the end. And again, you need to consider what consequences such action might bring about. Again, you need to assess the situation and take whatever action you find necessary.
Unfortunately, depending on how long you stayed with the cult, and how vulnerable your mind was when you were with them, you might need to be deprogrammed. If they got you when you were vulnerable, perhaps due to a traumatic experience, your senses might come back to you shortly after the psychological drama wears off. Also, if you leave the cult at an early stage and reintroduce yourself to the normal world again, deprogramming might come natural. But for some, the programming might be too instilled within the brain and formal deprogramming measures might need to be taken. Please click here to learn more about deprogramming.
Now, as hard as you try to deal with being out of the cult, your programming and dependency to the cult, as well as superstition, might be too powerful to keep you away, and you might find yourself once again being drawn to it. This is not a good thing and you have to be very careful to not let this happen. This is called having a setback, and while you might have been successful for a while, if you have a setback, the cult will prove itself to still have a hold on you. If you find yourself almost like a magnet, being moved back to the cult, you must fight back! Such a situation is a temptation that you must learn to resist. Resist the temptation and do not go back. But how? Superstition and religion, especially within cults, can be very difficult lifestyles to escape from. This we know. But to cope with detachment and to avoid a setback, the first thing that you must understand is that temptation of a cult is like an addiction of drugs or alcohol. Going back to the cult is like getting your drug back. As with any drug abuse, you have to detox your body, and in this case, your mind. Cultic temptation is like an unhealthy addiction, one that might make you feel good at first, but will ultimately end up harming you and others later on; but it is an additction which can be over come through will power, treatment, and education. When you learn to look at it this way, you will find it easier to understand your problem and to take control of it, and ultimately beat it.
The two greatest obstacles you might face when preventing setbacks is your dependency on the cult, and your level of superstition. You must absolutely control these two characteristics in order to be successful in not returning to the cult. All it takes is for a little superstition to enter the ex-cult member's mind and back they go. Often what happens is that they get into some sort of trouble, or experience a traumatic event, in which case they don't know what else to do except resort to their roots, and they might pray to the god that they used to worship while participating in the cult. When this happens, and the person finds relief, superstition takes control again, and the person will in many cases once again believe that their god got them out of troulbe. Or, while in this trouble, superstition might cause this person to see the event as possible punishment from God for leaving the cult in the first place. And, to become "right with God", they often return, in which case they start all over again. This is why it is so important be deprogrammed after you leave. Otherwise, you might find yourself going back to the darkness from which you came.
You might believe that if you were to go back, that everything will be okay. We understand why this is. More than likely, you've been trained your whole life to depend on religion and superstition. So when something wrong happens in your life, it already seems natural to you to fall back on these things which got you through the problems before. But this is only because you have not yet learned how to live without the cult or without religion or superstition, but you will as long as you don't give up and keep at it. You might even ask yourself if it is harmless to say a prayer to God when in times of need. After all, it seemed to work before, so perhaps it's okay. Look, there is no doubt that superstition can help to carry you through life's difficulties. It often doesn't matter that it isn't real; it works. So you might be left with a quandary. The answers to such questions depend on the situation and just how superstitious you are, but we maintain that superstition is almost always the wrong path to take. True, it can help you, but look at what the cost might be for that help. When facing such a quandary, you have to remember the past. Whenever you start to feel tempted, ask yourself what had happened before and look at what superstition put you through. Being in a cult, you have seen first hand on how out of control it can get. It just isn't worth it. If you're not careful, it will control you.
So the next time you think about allowing superstition into your life, and to avoid a setback, consider the following:
Think about what possible negative consequences there are in abandoning reason in order to believe in fairytales. Think about what they did to you. How do you feel about being lied to? How do you feel about constantly being told you were a bad person and that you were not worthy of God's love or to live, and that God would put you in Hell if you did not believe in what you were taught to believe? What problems do you believe there could be in putting more hope into prayer than in constructive action? How would you feel about risking your health by believing God will heal you, rather than seek medical help? How do you feel about being tricked into giving up your money, time, and effort for promises that never come true? What do you think about wasting so many days of your life praying and spending your time in church for a god who isn't there, when instead you could be out living your life and doing the world some good? How do you feel about the religious constantly putting your friends down and telling you to stay away from them? What do you think about being exposed to psychological attacks, being subjected to various forms of brainwashing and manipulation? What are your thoughts about being pushed to cry and forced to sing, only to make you more vulnerable to psychological programming? How do you feel about you and your children being taught incorrect Bronze Age ideologies and facts, while rejecting science and thus limiting social progress? Do you want to believe that immoral things like murder, torture, and rape are in fact moral? Would you want to live your life constantly trying to alter your reality in order to defend immorality? How do you suppose you would feel having your heart broken by a fabricated friendship? Would you like to enter a lifestyle in which you might not ever be able to get out of? How do you feel being gossiped about by those who you believed were your friends? Do feelings of depression, sickness, and rape appeal to you? What would you say if you were told that you must believe what someone else believes in or else you'll be thrown in eternal fire? And then, how would you feel if you later found out that all of this which you accepted and embraced in your life was all done for the benefit of one man?; a cult leader...
Ask yourself a very important question. Is this what you want in life? Ask yourself if your life is better inside the cult, or if you could have a potentially better one outside it. Do you really need the cult? Is this really the only way to happiness? Think. Are you happy now? If you are happy, think about those who your cult might be targeting. While you're happy, are the homosexuals who your cult might despise happy? Does your cult hate black persons? While you might be happy, how would these persons feel? These are the kinds of things you need to think about and ask yourself.
And look again at your cult leader. Think long and hard about this. Is this guy really a prophet? Was he really sent by God? Do you honestly believe he is the one true leader of all Christians? Have you ever asked him what makes him qualified for this role? Have you ever questioned his judgment? Have you ever tested him? Think, does he really need your money? When he tells you that giving money to him can bring you miracles, do you honestly believe that is the case, or do you think that maybe he is just another one of the thousands of scam artists out there? Do you really need him?
If you have just left the cult and are in pain, or if you have left the cult some time ago, and are wondering whether or not you made the right choice, we recommend that you immediately start writing down your experiences in and your thoughts about the cult. This is very important so that you never forget what happened to you. Then, when the temptation comes to you, trying to reel you back into the cult, reflect on what you wrote, and this will help you to make the right choice.
The fact of the matter is, falling back on such things will most likely make you feel better, but don't believe that they are the only ways or the best ways to handle the situation. When in a difficult situation, it can be very tempting to pray to God, but the first time you take a pass on doing so, you will have made a huge step in the right direction, and doing so from then on will become easier. Coping with detachment might not be easy, but as long as you have a plan, surround yourself with friends, and look to the future, while remembering your past, you can get through it. You've had faith in your cultic god for all these years, now it's time to have faith in yourself.
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