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spacer Additional PMCC 4th Watch Information

Feelings

In this paper we have talked about all the things we can think of that classifies the 4th Watch as a cult. But, as we mentioned before, despite whatever behaviors there are specifically about such organizations, sometimes when we enter a cult or stay with one for a while, we just seem to develop certain feelings that just don't seem right, that makes us feel like something is wrong. If you experience these feelings, then it is best for you to be on guard, because it wouldn't be too unrealistic that you have found yourself as part of a cult. And if you experience certain feelings, then the chances might be good that you are.

Like most persons, none of use knew we were entering a cult when we joined. At first, we felt comfortable and safe, and then over time, we gradually began to have "those feelings" as if something wasn't right and that something was very wrong. So what feelings did we begin to have while being in the Watch? Well, several feelings come to mind. When we were in the 4th Watch, the situation felt creepy, and we felt confused, lost, disappointed, betrayed, used, angry, sad, sick, and raped.

It was very creepy to witness prayer time in the 4th Watch, as you'd see persons crying, shaking, and speaking in tongues. Normal persons just don't do that and we knew that we were around very weird and unstable persons. But we were also confused, as we didn't understand why persons were acting this way. We couldn't understand why persons were being taught to hate, or why they were being taught that the earth was so young when it wasn't. We felt lost. We don't know exactly how to explain why. Perhaps we just felt like we were looking for others to call our friends, who would help us find Jesus, and it became clearer as the days went on that this people were not interested in Jesus, they were only interested in money, teaching hatred, and recruiting new members like us. So, we felt lost.

But of course we were disappointed as well. We were expecting a new family. We were expecting all that was promised to us. All those good things promised never came. We were let down. And even worse, we felt betrayed. We felt betrayed not only from the broken promises and unfulfilled commitments, but these persons who were supposed to be our friends and love us, turned on us and started rumors about us. They pretended to be our friends in order to keep us from leaving. They used members of the church to befriend us to earn our trust, and then left us after we could no longer handle being in the cult. And they used us. Although we did not give them money, we gave them a lot of our time in order to help them with their activities. They used some of our artistic talents to make posters and presentations, and they took advantage of our kindness when we helped them with their car washes and decorations. They exploited our trust, in an attempt to program us to do their will.

This all left us with a deep feeling of sadness. Sometimes, we just felt like crying after for what they did to us, and what they are continuing to do to others. For weeks we were very sad, and as the sadness started to pass, we became more and more angry about the whole situation. How could they do this to us? All of this left us sick inside. We had a very difficult time dealing with it. Sometimes we just felt like throwing up. For most of us, it was around this time after we had left when we began to realize that we had been involved in a cult.

But the worst feeling we had was not confusion or sadness or sickness, it was the feeling like we had been raped. None of us had ever been physically raped, and we do not pretend to equate what we went through to what a woman might go through when she is sexually abused, but we felt that we had actually started to comprehend the kinds of feelings a woman goes through mentally after it happens. We believe we felt the same way. We were disgusted and felt dirty. We were hurt and were in pain. We had been used in a way we didn't give consent to be. We were taken advantage of and exploited. They lied to us to get what they wanted, and when it was all over, we felt so ashamed. They tried to force their will onto us, by trying to program us and make us believe things we didn't want to believe, things we knew were untrue. They tried to make us hate homosexuals and believe that earth was 6,000 years old. We were spiritually raped.

All these feelings and experiences we knew would change us forever. We knew we had to do whatever we could do to help prevent this from happening to others. That is why we are trying to educate persons about the true nature of the 4th Watch, that it is a dangerous cult in which everyone needs to stay away from.

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